I grew up in a town where race was always an issue at the
surface of our life. Cairo, Illinois was a place that race showed up in ugly ways;
you can read the history of its race problem in numerous books.
I want to talk about my own experience of being a black male
in this country. It has started early on in my life. We had a news and music
store in my home town; I used to go to this store to buy Mad Magazine, model
trains magazine and Tiger Beat magazine. Oh yes while there I bought my first
book on being gay in this small conservative town. (Loving Someone Gay by
Donald Clark) One Saturday, I purchased
a magazine as usually and walked out of the store. As I was walking down Tenth
Street, I noticed the White owner of the store following me; he followed down
one block across the main street through Cairo. Finally by what was then Mark
Twain Restaurant asked me if I stole the magazine from his store, I stated no.
I stated that I had purchase my magazine and I don't steal. I didn't go off him, because even at that
young age, I was taught to be careful in how I respond in a situation like that
with a white man. I stated from my grandmother. One of the deputy sheriff’s in
our county saw this man questioning me. He asked the store owner what was wrong. The
owner stated that he believed I stole something from the store and that he
couldn’t believe that I had money to buy stuff. The Deputy asked him did he see
me pick up anything. Did he see me ditch anything once he left the store? His answer was no. This Deputy stated that he
knew me and that I would not steal anything. I went on my way. I never bought a
thing from that store again.
During a reading lab, Sister Ruth had us to double up and
share a SRA Reading folder. My white classmate stated that my “Dad told me to never
share anything with a nigger” The look of utter disgust on my face and my
response, I’m not a nigger, still sits with me today
.There were always subtle and overt racism in all of my life,
from having someone’s father saying why are you playing with that nigger and
another classmate calling me a dumb nigger for a mistake that I made all
through high school to people moving away from you on the bus or I have many an
empty seat on a crowded bus.
I expected things to be different in college and in the gay
community. I have been called nigger so many times in the gay community, I have
lost count. At the University of Saint Thomas, I was called a porch monkey by
two guys as I was coming out of the Student Union. Had a classmate to walk out
of a theology class after being called names every day. I have been followed in Dayton Hudson Department
Store, where I actually worked in Minneapolis. Yes
I have been in mostly
white/black relationships living in predominately white neighborhoods; I have
felt the sense of neighbors asking do you live in the house, as I opening the
door with my keys. I have had boyfriends wonder what their family reaction
would be to me. In the last
relationship, I have felt deeply loved by my ex-partner’s family from Montana. His
sister and other family members grew to accept and love me, even if there were
not comfortable in the beginning. I have
watched his nephews and nieces grow up to be people who support racial and LGBT
rights. Some of us will have to become a part of each other’s lives to break
down barriers.
Yes in even in the great liberal Northwest race is an issue.
I had a sales clerk at the Bon Marche explain to me how the Ralph Lauren
clothes were expensive; I might want to check another section of the store. With
cheaper items. My first nonprofit management job as Development Director with a
300,000 budget and my own office, I thought I had arrived where I would not
face overt discrimination. A sales
person comes into our office for an appointment with me to sell me a radio spot...
We had made the appointment, talked on the phone. After our receptionist let him in the office,
as I came to greet him, he said I’m looking for David Strong, he saw an older
white man who worked for me and went straight to him. That gentleman said that
was my boss, you just passed with his name on the door.
Despite all of the work that I have done in fighting for
LGBT community here in Seattle and Tacoma, I have experienced outright
disrespect or made to feel we need your black face at our events, but not
necessarily your thoughts on how we are doing our work.
This hardest thing is to hear some white gay men who are
conservative and some of my conservative friends to minimize my experiences of
racism as being over sensitive. But if you want to know where my sensitivity
comes from, it from a history of experiencing racism in this country from people
of all walks of life, including other people of color. So no matter how valid the verdict was given
in the Tayvon Martin by jury according to the instructions, my history will
influence my reactions to the underlying currents of what happened that
evening.
But here is what you must know about David Strong, I will not
go away or retreat into an all-black world. , nor will allow racism to make me a hateful
person. I will not lack gratitude for
man good white people that I have met in my life, who have been an inspiration,
help or friend. I will stop showing up to events where I may be the only black
person there. Nor will I stay silent when people say things that are absurd about
the black community. I want people to know that in my town where I lot of us
grew in public housing at some point in our life are some of the most hardworking,
successful and educated African-Americans who making a difference in our
community. Yes the majority of us are Democrats and we are not on some
dependency plantation that some black conservative leaders are trying to
convince us. It will make me cautious about my
interactions. I will not stop bringing up the issues of race when I think is
appropriate, and those who know me, I will virgoursly advocate for the rights
of black people, women, immigrants and the LGBT Community. It not because I want
to keep people tied down, but I want to be able to live free to, not have to
worry about being profiled, shot or denied every equal opportunity under the
law. Not because it is about civil
rights only, is a firmly based on my faith of the “equality before God of all
people!
I will not accept a narrative that all white people are
racist, no more than I would accept one that
all black people to be judged as one monolithic group. I think God that I have wanted friends and have
had from every racial, cultural background that you can in the world. God loves people regardless of who they are, I
must do the same.
My faith tells me I have to love everyone, even when they
seek to do you harm, my enemies and my frienemies. I have to believe in the goodness of most
people, while the sin and evil of racism and other isms continue to exist and
color my world. `
I will not live in
fear, I believe that we can become a country where racism can be eliminated,
but not by forgetting or revising the history or discounting the personal
experiences of people who encountered life like I have in my 51 years. I pray that my young nephews
and nieces and the grand ones, will not have to experience what I did. If they
do, I want them to be strong men and women who respect the legacy we have received
from our parents, grandparents and great grandparents and respect themselves. I love my country enough to disagree, argue
for change and work for peace. My ancestors died that I could be free, that I
have might have to right to vote, find the best work that I can accord my
education, live with dignity and self-respect, work to make my community a
better place.
(I know the names of these people, who have done these acts,
because I believe in redemption, they may have change since then, I pray.)
